Reply to what's the worst affair story you've heard of where the marriage recovered?

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Reply to "what's the worst affair story you've heard of where the marriage recovered?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel like this thread is DCUM at its most batshit crazy. Can you guys hear yourself? "Separating a woman from her biological child is lethal but separating a man is merely painful"

Jeeeeesus. I've said it a few times in this thread but you are all about preserving the 'marriage' over basically everything else in the world. [b]Including your own values, general morality, and a completely innocent baby's well being. [/b]

I also echo another PP. Apparently being married to a dead beat is ok with some of you as long as he never talks to his side piece again but in my world? Any man who has accepted that he is not allowed to see his own child, his own flesh and blood, is not the type of man I want to be married to. I would be absolutely disgusted.

I almost broke up with my DH when we were dating because HIS BROTHER had a baby in college with a girlfriend that he walked away from and the whole family seemed kind of ok with it. It was only until I talked to him about it more and learned that DH had kind of been keeping tabs on the girl and making sure she was alright that I thought he was ok. Walking away from a child is a horrific thing for an adult to do. [/quote]

No one is about preserving the marriage over everything else.  That type of infidelity shatters marriages and any woman who decides to divorce over this has my enthusiastic support. If this is not for you, it doesn't have to be!

For those who decide to try and rebuild the marriage, do you think they should NOT know about the scenarios that give them the best shot?

I want to address your comment I bolded above.  There is no "general morality" about this.  Until less than a hundred years ago, men were expected to ignore their illegitimate children.  The idea that ALL children need to be embraced, much less prioritized, is a very new one.  Don't oversell this as "general morality", because it isn't.

As for the wellbeing of an innocent baby, well of course it is important, but is it more important than everything else? More important than the wellbeing of the children of marriage? [b]More important than the wellbeing of the wife? Why[/b]? They too are innocent so why should the baby be the priority to the detriment of everyone else? [/quote]

To the bolded: Yes. Absolutely. She is an adult. She can take care of herself. I agree with you that it is not necessarily more important than the well being of the other minor children. [/quote]

Adults don't prioritize the interests of EVERY SINGLE child, only of their own.    The baby already has a mother, and she is the one who should prioritize the interests of the baby over her own.  The wife is not related to the baby so it's nonsensical to expect that she will choose what's best for someone else's baby over what's best for her. [/quote]

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