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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We need to know more.  First, how old is the kid?  Second, how exactly is she being "hit on" besides being asked for her number?  Third, how old are the guys who are doing the hitting on/number asking?  Finally, how often is this happening?

Depending on these answers, the range of responses could be anywhere from "this is disgusting, she needs to quit NOW" to "she's not cut out to be a server and needs to quit now."  [/quote]
Women shouldn't need to quit, they should be able to feel safe doing their job. [/quote]

Depends on the answers to my questions.  If we're talking about a 16 year old who can't handle another 16 year old asking for her number while she's a server not feeling "safe," then she's the problem.  She needs to find another job where she can feel "safe."

I have an irrational fear of heights.  That doesn't mean that the operators of a toll bridge with the collection booth on top are obligated to make me feel "safe" up there.  It just means I have to work somewhere else.

[/quote]
Please stop hitting on girls/women just trying to do their job. Your questions are irrelevant. [/quote]

I have daughters.  I'm not saying this SHOULD happen.  I think it's gross.  [b]But that doesn't necessarily make it harassment per se.[/b]  I think context matters here just like everywhere else.

We're a tipping culture.  You may not like it, but it is what it is.  If you can't provide service with a smile and allow some gentle banter, then your tips are going to suffer and the job might not be for you.  Yes, on occasion you're going to have to deal with some idiot who's socially awkward who misinterprets things and does something stupid like ask for your number.  That, in itself, is not harassment.  It just isn't.  At least not in every instance and under all circumstances.  If you can't help but get flustered over any kind of flirting by any customer when you're a server, to the point that it effects how you work (as OP says it is for her daughter), well, then maybe it's just not the job for you.  If more than that is going on consistently, then yes there's a problem.

That's why I said we need context.  If you can't understand such a thing as nuance or context, then there's no dealing with you.  No one, least of all me, is saying that a young woman server has to put up with any bullshit that an idiot customer dishes out.[/quote]
Except it does. Simple as that. Your denial of reality or trying to change the definition of a word because you dont like it just simply doesnt matter.[/quote]

Then I guess every woman who has ever dated any man she's met at work is an unknowing victim of sexual harassment.  [/quote]

Are you truly this simple? This incapable of nuance?

Meeting a man at work isn't a problem. [b]Having your compensation determined by a man who wants to get in your pants IS.[/b]

POWER IMBALANCE. If there's a power imbalance, it's harassment. If you're the customer and she's working for your tip, and your satisfaction with her performance has anything to do with her reaction to your inappropriate come-ons, rather than with the efficiency of the food delivery and the frequency of the refills, you are harassing her. [/quote]

I didn't know that whenever a man asks a woman for her phone number it automatically means he wants to "get into your pants."  Sorry.  My bad.

[/quote]

Yeah, what about the many, many guys who just want to hold hands? Or drink one milkshake together out of two straws? That's what most men's goal is when asking for a woman's number, right? [/quote]

Do you feel that way about your husband and your son?[/quote]

DP.  I do.  
When I met my husband, he was 25, and he was definitely interested in sex with me.  I was sexually active at that point in my life, and I wouldn’t have wanted to date any man who didn’t want sex.  
My son is 16, and he is probably realistically more looking to have a milkshake with two straws.  But he also isn’t hitting on waitresses.  He likes one of my 15 year old daughter’s friends, and he will probably ask her to homecoming this fall.

It’s a bizarre thing as a 17 year old girl to go from dating boys who nervously ask you to homecoming to having adult men tell you that they are sexually attracted.  [/quote]

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