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[quote=Anonymous]well, the few times my brother visited I experienced the same, but I did find some things for t hem to do together. I had to spell it out though: take mom to xyz, etc. Once I took a family trip and he stayed and visited daily, which was great (this was before memory care when she was much easier to handle).

Part of the issue is that he really didn't know how to approach her memory loss and personality change. i was around it all the time and had strategies, he didn't know. He saw her 2x/year and each time she had changed

as for helping by doing practical stuff: The taxes thing never really worked as I had all the bills, accounts, etc, so I would spend all the time scanning and sending anyway. its not practical to have someone who lives across country do doctors appointments. also, my brother is so out of touch that I doubt the taxes would be done in time.

yes, I also planned the cremation, internment, and celebration of life, invitig her living friends and renting a restaurant for when we were all together back where she had lived for decades....and now I am executor  of the estate and selling the home, which I had previously cleaned out. Its a lot. I am not doing it when my dad goes. I am spent. [/quote]

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