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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I understand, but does your mom know who you are? If so, I can't imagine not doing a birthday celebration with all her kids. I'd love to see my kids all at one time, though I understand saying no to gatherings every time they visit.

A birthday, however, is different. Can't you ask sibling to bring a cake, and show up to eat it and take a family picture, and leave after 45 minutes, while they keep visiting?

[/quote]

DP. As the primary with my mom, my siblings pretty much don't have a relationship with our mom at this point. They don't live in the same city, have jobs and kids and life and our mom can't really talk on the phone well anymore. So if I am not facilitating the relationship there would be none. And now when they come to town they want me to guide the whole thing. They do not want one on one time with her because they don't have a relationship with her where you just pick up and start talking. I have facilitated for years. But I am tired and our mom only takes more and more out of me as she gets older. And yes, I am exhausted, burned out, and resentful.

I feel for you, OP.[/quote]

Thank you for posting this. I am OP and it sounds so callous to people who don't understand. It just is comforting to know I am not alone feeling exhausted and resentful. It is like having constant background noise that lingers. A sibling mentioned something about a funeral because another relative recently passed away. [b]I asked "what crazy world do you live in where you think I am organizing or going to her funeral?"[/b] She has no friends left. [/quote]

I was the primary caregiver, but I wasn't this rude to my siblings. I understand how grueling and thankless it is, but to be downright pissy is not good for your health either. It just pushes people further away and makes the entire experience toxic all the time. [/quote]

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