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[quote=Anonymous]I think it's hard to get objective info on this thread because everyone just wants to validate that what they did was the right thing.

I think this is personality driven and that past age 8 or 9, parent relationships are fairly irrelevant to kid friendships. For little kids, the parents have to know each other and at least get along somewhat because there's more parent supervision and management involved. Kindergarteners are not independently setting up playdates with each other. But 4th graders are, and just checking with parents to see if they are okay.

I have always taken a colleagues approach to other parents -- friendly, helpful when appropriate, no drama. I have not become good friends with other parents because (1) I already have a lot of friends, and (2) I think having same age kids is less bonding than people expect it to be. Individual parenting experiences are more diverse than people realize, and past the baby phase, kids vary a lot in temperament (plus families vary a lot in composition, resources, and particular experiences). I think people presume "hey we live in the same neighborhood and have 2nd graders -- we must have a lot in common!" But my experience is that you often have exactly one thing in common and that's it, and it's just not enough to build a friendship on.

But! It's enough to be friendly work colleagues so if your kids become friends, you can functionally support that friendship. So that's my approach.[/quote]

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