Reply to Parents with social anxiety: does it get easier?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you seeking treatment for this?

Because, no, it really doesn't get any easier. Presumably your kids will do extra-curricular activities like sports or music or theater. [/quote]

This.  It might be a little better but never goes away, and you don’t have to live like this![/quote]

Social anxiety is treatable. [/quote]

OP again. I have a therapist and I guess am being "treated" for my anxiety. It's not like I can't do this stuff or let it get in the way of things I want or need to do. I'm capable of being social and talking to people. But I don't think I'm ever going to like these specific kinds of social situations and prior to having kids, only did them occasionally when I had to (wedding, funeral, occasional conference for work). Now with parenting it's all the time. I am hoping at some point it is more occasional than this? Like parties become drop off and kids navigate their own friendships and there are maybe fewer school events than our very, very social elementary school? I just want less of it, I'm not saying I can't do it.[/quote]

I just posted above about volunteering. It was a chore for me at first, too. It does get better once DCs are past middle school, but until then, you don't want to be an "outsider" parent. You want to know what's going on, you want parents to feel comfortable reaching out to you, and you should make an effort to keep yourself in the mix. A strong school community is hard to build without invested parents . . . you don't have to go to every event or get to know every family, but find a comfortable space to at least make a few connections that will keep you tuned into what is happening behind the scenes. [/quote]

Is it really so bad to be an "outsider" parent? What is happening behind the scenes at an elementary school that you need to be in the know for? A functional school will be letting parents know (via admin or the PTA) about anything truly important. You should not actually have to make connections in the school or be an "insider" in order to learn important details relevant to your child's education. It's up to the organization to be transparent. And then if people want to create friendships, they are more than welcome to.

I feel like your describing a dysfunctional school community based on cliques and info hoarding.[/quote]

Sometimes school friends like to join the same sports teams or summer camps, so that can be useful information.  If stuff like that isn’t beneficial to you or your kids, then yeah, don’t become friends with the other moms.[/quote]

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