Reply to 11 year old daughter’s behavior escalating at home

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What happens in public or school if things don't go her way?[/quote]

Nothing. She might get frustrated, but keeps it to herself and hides it.[/quote]

It’s not nothing.  She internalizes it and freezes.  When she tries to thaw out at home, you see it as misbehavior.  It isn’t. [/quote]

You’re being intentionally misleading.

The question the OP was responding to was clearly about behavior. They asked how the daughter handles similar disappointments at school that lead to meltdowns at home. The answer of “nothing” is meant to say that she takes it in stride and behaves in a way that’s not only socially acceptable, but her her friends and teachers also view her in a very positive light. [/quote]

Yeah this is why the “masking” concept is so useless. No child with significant issues is actually totally fine at school. It is much more likely that they are reacting as PP suggests (internalizing instead of externalizing) or that there is in fact rigidity showing at school but school is less triggering of it (because by definition it is more predictable and structured) OR the school is just not mentioning it. [/quote]

Internalizing IS masking.  [/quote]

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