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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why would you not respect their wishes?[/quote]

Do you not understand how awful it is to be the person making the decision for them?[/quote]

I'm sorry OP.  I'm not PP but I do know how awful it is to have to make these decisions.  But with the advanced directive, your parent already made the decision. You just have to honor it.  [/quote]

Thank you. This is helpful.

I was also thinking I could share the directive with others in the family because there are some mentally ill relatives who would say horrible things about me for following the directive.

OP[/quote]
It is hard, and I have been there, but you made a commitment. If people are going to talk about you that can’t be your priority. If that’s kind of behavior, you’re expecting I would not share the advanced directive with them because they will just try to twist the words to mean what they want them to mean. Your answer to anyone who questions you is that you are acting consistent with your parents wishes and the advice of their medical team. Your sole focus at this point is the comfort of the parent who trusted you to take care of them when they could not take care of themselves. People need to get on the train or get off the tracks. Do not let them suck your energy.[/quote]

Thank you. I do have an energy sucker for a sibling, so I appreciate this note.

The sibling will likely tell people I “killed” our parent. But do I care? Sibling has already suggested my mother and I killed my dad by allowing hospice when he had stage 7 dementia and would not eat. I got no end of sh-t and it was not even my decision as my mother was making the decisions for her husband.

The solution was and is to continue low contact with sibling.

This thread has really helped me. Thank you for all of your replies.

I feel a lot better about this, especially after one of you mentioned I am not deciding…that I am following the wishes of my parent. That’s true and I had not understood the situation that way before.

[/quote]
I’m glad you have more clarity and are feeling better. I know this is a difficult time and. I wish you whatever peace you can find. [/quote]

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