Reply to unsolicited advice from an experienced parent

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you help your kids tune out peer pressure? I’m assuming—apologies if I’m wrong—that your children also attend a strong high school.

In our case, my child is surrounded by very competitive students who sometimes brag about their achievements or grades, which often feels intended to intimidate others. Was peer pressure ever an issue for your children, and if so, how did they handle it?[/quote]

It wasn't a huge issue. Both are top performers and are friends with top performers. Somehow they didn't really seem to compete with their friends. This was really fortunate. My kids are really attuned to not bragging and are friends with nice kids who don't do that either. For instance, one kid is a NMSF. We told the grandparents, that's it. No one else. Of course it was announced but that wasn't our doing.

In one case, one kid did second guess their ED choice because although it's an elite school, they had another school on their list that was tippy top and even more elite. They had friends who ED'ed to tippy top schools which made them second guess their own choice. I think our kid knows now they are at the right school. They got in and are really happy there. The kids who ED'ed to tippy top didn't get in. They are also happy and doing well at great schools. [/quote]

We often get questions from other parents like, “Did your child win X competition?” or “Did your child participate in Y activity?” or even, “Are you a legacy at Z school?”
It’s honestly nerve-racking—so much so that I’ve decided to keep to myself and not talk much during school visits or events. [/quote]

OP here. That sounds really annoying. Are you comfortable saying which school or school system? No one has ever asked me those things about my kids. I think it's because there are a lot of high achieving kids and parents who went to top schools themselves.

[/quote]

We’re at one of the feeder schools in the West. Sometimes, I even feel forced to hear about other students’ grades during parent events. People can be so careless with gossip. And yes that does happen among some of the high achieving parents.[/quote]

That sounds really annoying. We didn't have anyone ask us this unsolicited. But then I try to avoid braggy people who are like this and my kids are not friends with this type either. So I guess I'd say to avoid as much as you can and try to encourage your kids to as much as they can. I know there's only so much you can do when kids take certain classes but they can control who they hang out with. [/quote]

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