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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No sleepovers. It takes days to recover, and we've got s$&t to do.[/quote]

Our DD just went to a sleepover this past Friday, 14 yr old girls (7 of them), and yup, they were up most of the night (hosting mom told us she didn't stop hearing voices, music or walking around until after 2:00am) but they were all picked up by 12:00 noon the next day and our DD was fine, no energy problems, and we got all the obligations/activities/work/events of the weekend done without a problem.

What in the world are your kids up to at sleepovers that "it takes days to recover" from them and you can't get ish done?? [/quote]

NP- Some teens have pretty good/early to bed sleep schedules and need them to function well the next day. There's really no shame in that.[/quote]

In general sure, and those teens maybe should get picked up after dinner instead of spending the night. But damning all sleepovers because "it takes days to recover" is ridiculous. I've got 3 kids (2 girls, 1 boy) and all were allowed sleepovers as were most in their friend groups. Overall they had great times, and to the degree anything that happened that concerned me, it was more what was discussed/revealed among the kids that made me worry a bit about other kids, but it was all real life tween/teen stuff and mostly I'm really glad they all had sleepovers and went to others.  They never stopped asking to go to them until they left for college (although big group sleepovers got less and less as they got to 10-12th grades).

Things that are just not compatible with the personality/habits of my kids, I can say "that doesn't work for my kid" without damning the situation or activity altogether or acting like every kid has the same challenge with it that my kid does.[/quote]

My kids are adults now, but people get so defensive about people who don't do sleepovers. It's not a universal tradition people need to partake in, and that's fine if you like them but it's also fine if people don't. [/quote]

No one here is against free will about whether your kid does them or not.  My post was a response to someone saying they're bad overall, because it takes days to recover from them. But I guess as soon as anyone points out the absurdity of that, someone (you this time) wants to call pointing out facts "being defensive".  Yawn.[/quote]

That person stated : "No sleepovers. It takes days to recover, and we've got s$&t to do." Notice the "we". This was a post about that person's experience and not stating how terrible sleepovers are for everyone.[/quote]

Ok you're right, they didn't damn sleepovers altogether.  My bad.

I'd still like to hear from that PP why their kid in particular needs days to recover.  It was a NP who said it can just be sleep schedules, which may be the PP's same reason, but maybe not. But that comment mystified me and I'd love to know what's going on in that PP's case, since they shared that.

In the end, everyone has a right to do sleepovers or not do them, and no one should be shamed whether they're in or out for sleepovers. And folks here who do say things like the bolded:

[quote=Anonymous]We did them rarely and in retrospect not at all would have been best. They sleep terribly if at all, too much phone/tablet use, and parents don't always have the best judgement, including parents who seem fine and you might know well socially.[b] They are really not necessary and no upside.[/b][/quote]

that kind of generalized damning happens, but can just be ignored.
 [/quote]

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