Reply to Does this kind of specific legal parenting restriction exist?

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Reply to "Does this kind of specific legal parenting restriction exist?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Good lord, the degree to which people are willing to do mental gymnastics to excuse men from the consequences of their own behavior will never cease to amaze me.

Dad is responsible for his own behavior and any consequences to the relationship between himself and his kids as a result of his behavior. Full stop.

Mom is responsible for making the kids available for visitation according to schedule.  She is not responsible for physically forcing a child to visit a parent over that child's objections.

In a situation where the child and parent disagree about visitation agreed to under court order, the Mom has a few choices  - consult with your attorney - 1) getting therapy for the child to help the child express reasons for not wanting to visit, set boundaries, and see if there are mutually agreeable alternatives 2) arranging for family therapy with child and inviting other parent to participate. 3) enabling the child to go back to court to express his/her objection and the reasons for it and asking for a custody modification

I faced a simliar situation where my kids no longer wanted to visit with their dad as much for a variety of reasons.  It was an issue for him to solve with them, not me.  To put the mom in the middle of a father/child conflict is classic psychological triangulation.

To the PP who was angry at your mom for forcing visitation. IME, a child's unwillingness to participate in visitation or custody needs to be really carefully negotiated to avoid bigger court problems or retaliatory physical or financial abuse.  Men who are domestic abusers use the courts, police, child custody/visitation or their financial contribution as a way to continue abuse of the mother.  It's a very tricky problem to negotiate and 20+years ago it was even more difficult. [/quote]

The same can be said of you - you've done the exact same thing. Mental gymnastics to justify why you did not fulfill your role as a parent.  Sounds like your situation was 20+ years ago, prior to the research and subsequent awareness of how badly alienation affects children. You were an alienator.

Do you really mean to say that if a 6 year old is watching TV and says they don't want to get ready to go and visit their father, they should be allowed to do so? Even if a 14 year old does the same thing there would be no consequences? In your estimation that would be OK because your child was "available" and you would not "force" them.

What if the other parent had custody? Would you have been OK with them telling you they couldn't "force" your kids to see you?

You created a psychological loyalty bind in your child. You communicated that you are OK with them not having a relationship with the other parent. [/quote]

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