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[quote=Anonymous]My exDH is setting himself up to be one of these guys. Like the others described, he is quiet and comes off as low-key and from the outside everyone considers him a good guy. In reality he was abusive behind closed doors and has a lot of scary secrets. Even during  truly awful high conflict divorce that he initiated, he somehow got many of our mutual friends in thrall to him and his story. Fortunately the courts did not follow suit.

I’ll never know for sure, but I suspect that covert narcissism is at play, and it sounds like that could describe some of the men on this thread, especially when it comes to the idea of discarding families on a predictable timeline. Look up the discard phase of covert narcissism if you’re in this situation.

I live on the west coast in a very tech/big-money community and see these families a lot now that my kids have been at their private school for a long time. You start to see new generations of kids from the same dad start fresh in preschool. It’s interesting because there is a bit of social censure behind closed doors but these guys have sufficient social capital in the community that people act approving and welcoming of them in public.[/quote]

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