Reply to If your spouse works a lot, how do you manage expectations about your own availability?

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Reply to "If your spouse works a lot, how do you manage expectations about your own availability?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
If you can afford it .. Hire help...ASAP
Your marriage will thank you.
[/quote]

Short of a live in nanny who gets up with the kids, how would that help?[/quote]

Ma’am hire  that help .. 
Then come back and tell us all how it’s going

[/quote]

OP here and we do have some help. I have help with cleaners and get groceries delivered and a lot of other one off type help. I’m actually not resentful really- [b]I mostly feel bad for him that he’s missing out so much [/b]. I like my kids and unlike what I hear from some other families my kids are actually best behaved for me. We have not had success with babysitters and I ended up feeling resentful that I couldn’t figure that out and [b]he wanted it to work so he did not have to feel guilty but didn’t help figure it out.[/b] I do think we will need more help if the kids do more activities in a few years. I dread trying to figure that out.

We have some help from local family but we have had to cancel date nights because stuff has come up with his work on short notice and it’s frustrating. I have a VERY mommy tracked job but have considered cutting back even more. I actually feel like I am finding a decent balance, he’s just not a very big part of it in like a spouse role if that makes sense. If he has an hour to not work we spend it as a family; we both agree that has to be a big priority. [/quote]

You need to open your eyes. You say you feel bad for him, but does *he* feel bad for himself that he's "missing out" so much? If he really wanted it to work and felt guilty, he would have helped to figure it out! It sounds like he's pretty happy with the way things are, he just wants more s*x and attention from you-- but only when it's convenient for him, and your schedule is his last priority.[/quote]

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