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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Having grandparents that take the kids for a Saturday a few time a month. A day of rest and no kid obligations makes it all so much easier. And we usually have day sex before going out to dinner and indulging too much in food and wine. [/quote]

This is hyper specific but I do think the general idea that there are non-parent caregivers on the scene who can take some of the burden of not just childcare but being really trusted adults, sources of fun, shoulders to cry on, etc.

One thing I see among many moms is that the emotional burden of parenting is drowing them. It's not just about the acts of supervising kids or feeding them, signing them for activities, taking care of school stuff, etc. All of that can be stressful if not shared with a spouse for sure but I don't think on its own it's that different from having a job. But being the person in charge of really caring about your kids, being invested in them as people, caring about their feelings, etc., impacts sex drive specifically because it's so emotional, and when you are emotionally drained it can be really hard to become aroused.

Ideally you coparent is taking on a lot of that emotional work too, but men are not always socialized to do this and there can be a big learning curve. Grandparents, nannies, other community members can really help by being someone their kids can come to with their feelings so it's not all on mom.

I feel like this subject is bigger than this thread but I wish we'd talk more about what it means to be the emotionally available parent instead of always bickering over household chores and whose with the kids more. To me, this is the crux of it -- moms are expected to emotionally support everyone in the family but often no one supports them emotionally. It's a big problem.[/quote]
This! I could have written this myself. [/quote]

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