Reply to Am I unreasonable for setting boundaries with my SIL?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why is everyone telling you what she said in the first place?  Sounds like a bunch of shit stirrers.  [/quote]
OP here. My young children told us first, and my husband wanted to confront her. She then confronted me. [/quote]

See, this makes the whole lot of you sound nuts.  An 8 year old tell you this and you take it at their word?  And your husband gets so worked up that he wants to “confront” her?  So she then “confronts” you?

Lots of anger, mistrust and hostility in your family.  [/quote]
Yes. My children were confused because we always have so much fun. They told us at dinner after they had FaceTimed, which was when she mentioned it. My husband immediately called his sister (maybe I shouldn’t have said ‘confront’ but that’s what he was doing, in regards to what she had said), and she said yes, she felt like a burden in our house and had told our children as much. She has brought it up repeatedly for nearly six months since, and now refuses to speak to me. I honestly don’t know what she hopes to gain. [/quote]

That you think she “hopes to gain” anything as all speaks volumes about you as well as her.   You said in the beginning that the relationship has never been great.  Do you think that she is such an idiot that she hasn’t sensed that as well? Have you considered the possibility that maybe she isn’t “hoping to gain” anything but that her feelings were just hurt? You need to look inward and not just outward.  [/quote]

Our relationship isn’t great but not because of anything I’ve done, other than marrying her brother, I suppose. I’ve never been anything but nice to her. I’m tired of being walked all over. She has to want something to keep this up for half a year, but I can’t imagine what. [/quote]

Prior poster is full of bull shite and believes women should tolerate all kinds of abuse in the name of faaaaaaaaamily. My ils looked so nice and cute from the outside but I had a front row seat to see how my mil and sils treated another sil who married in to the family. I would call them out on their bad behavior and told them I'd never tolerate it. They went after me when that sil and bil moved away and started the day I was in the hospital with a complicated birth. They lived to cause fights and their core belief in life was their family unit ie fil, mil, my dh, sils were family and the rest of us who married in were not. They spent a lot of time creating situations where they tried to force dh to pick them over me and our kids.

Your sil is trying to assert that she is more important than you. You are less than and she is going to repeatedly make this an issue with your family.

I would never have them in my home and no, I would not be the one speaking with them anymore. I'd stop any activities with them. She's trying to train everyone to think you deserve to be abused. That she feels so comfortable doing this in your home is telling. [/quote]

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