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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Being an adult now, what do you wish your father would have chosen to do with your mom or the marriage back when you were a child? [/quote]

I wish he divorced, sent her back to her parents (we all lived with his mom, not in the U.S.) and we would stay with him and grandma. Her parents didn’t want her though, I think (they were a crazy wife plus enabler themselves). So i understand it wasn’t very feasible.

what he could also do is leave her after both of us kids left the house. She inherited her parents’ house so she could go there or she could stay and he would go there.

Or, maybe he could stand up to some of her really crazy rituals and hoarding?

Not really sure. I realize it was hard to do something once he knew she was crazy. 
[/quote]
Nice wish list, but impractical.

Talk with any divorce attorney and they’d tell you getting 100% legal and physical custody is impossible in all 50/50 coparenting states.  Courts don’t care about mental illness or mental disordered parents.

In U.S. court system: 
Parent rights and time >>> Children’s rights, health, safety, development

The dysfunctional parent will get the kids half time unless they legally, or in practice, give up their 50% custody time.

Surely you know this OP? Your father may have looked into it as well. Many times. Or he may have lived in a state and era where mothers got the kids no matter what. Then what Op?

What are you really angry about here? Your father had nothing but bad options. You marry an unwell person and have kids you are tethered for life. [/quote]

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