Reply to Does getting married mean you just slowly lose yourself until there's nothing left?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes you will lose yourself if your spouse is not article supporting, you, the kids or the property or schedule. 
You are being dumped on and it’s a game of chicken. He won’t lift a finger for anything except his office job/paycheck, and he knows you will do everything or else the kids will suffer.

Deadweights like this, even if a lawyer, end up divorced. [/quote]

+100. It’s either now or 10 years from now when OP is even more ground down and depressed.

This reminds me of the new mom posting that her DH wants to take a golf trip 5 weeks PP … it does not actually get better with deadweights. It gets worse.

There is an argument for waiting things out while the kids are little so as not to lose and custody time. But OP should consider whether the DH would actually fight for 50% and get it - considering his BigLaw schedule. Divorcing now when it’s even clearer that he cannot do 50% may be a good move.

I waited until my kid was 11 and have some regrets. It affected his mental health and it pretty much removed me from any potential dating pool because I’m older and frankly broke down due to the decade of bullsh-t. But on the other hand it allowed me to become totally financially independent and DC is old enough that I don’t have to be worried about his physical safety when with DH.

But at the end of the day … life is so much better now. I wish I had shed the dead weight years ago. [/quote]

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