Reply to Allow DD to keep pursuing something she's bad at?

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[quote=Anonymous]I was always a mediocre but enthusiastic athlete. I knew from a young age that it embarrassed my mom. Whenever I wasn’t good at something (which was every time), she would pull me from it when the season ended. The only sports I was able to stick with was swim team, because it started with swim lessons which she considered necessary and because I could ride my bike there, and softball, because I had friends who drove me. Otherwise she considered it a waste to not be good at something.

As an adult, it was really hard for me to stick with stuff because I’d grown up being trained that you shouldn’t do things you’re bad at. Until I recognized that pattern, I lost opportunities at jobs and college classes and friendships because I wasn’t used to sticking around and letting myself grow within a situation.

The friend thing is separate and messy- she is probably feeling fear of being excluded from a “popular” group. But her participation in an activity will have longer-lasting benefits than being on the fringes of a friend group, so try to support her in her sport as much as you can.[/quote]

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