Reply to Anyone have a teen with flat affect?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have you considered that YOU might also have autistic tendencies, and that you're not understanding that you're putting your social needs before hers?[/quote]

It’s logical to think that - but sadly what I think this is an example of something that happens a lot: people with “good social skills” who get uncomfortable and upset when someone doesn’t behave the way they believe is the norm. The neurotypical can be very cruel and judgmental and selfish - being neurotypical does not mean you are kind and empathetic. Just that you can follow along with neurotypical social cues. [/quote]

You're describing social anxiety, which is something anyone can have, neurodivergent and neurotypical alike. OP clearly has social anxiety. She's terrified of how her daughter comes across, even when not in public. Her daughter's lack of conversational skills and absence of "pleasant" public persona makes OP afraid for her professional and personal future, and every time her daughter is sullen, like all teens, OP's mind just goes straight to autism and "what will people think?!?!", because this is so triggering to her. OP's anxiety makes her goad her own daughter to be more engaged, and obviously that's not going well.

Her daughter is on her own timeline, she might progress or not, we don't know. The only thing OP can do is to work on HERSELF. She cannot go through life being continually triggered by her child's behaviors, unless she wants to be miserable forever.

You have to accept that this is your reality, OP. Sometimes I have difficulty accepting my reality, with my autistic son, and autistic husband.

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