Reply to How do kids become driven? Or even motivated?

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m going to slightly disagree. I went through a particularly tough childhood emotionally with parents who were not particularly supportive. It’s one thing to let kids make their own decisions, but parents have to support those decisions morally and logistically where needed. I think that parental support of decisions have about 50% to do with it.

As an example: In high school, I wanted to join the crew team, and basically, my father said, “great, you can get yourself there from school and back home on the bus.” The problem was, we lived in a very suburban neighborhood with very poor bus coverage. They had a bus from the school to the practice location about 3 miles away but then it was 7 miles back to my house (you would pass the school), and I would have to switch buses twice to get home - and the buses were not reliable. This is all to say, I had to quit the team before I really got started and shut off that part of myself. This didn’t happen just then but over and over with choir, debate, science fair, and swim team, among others.

Saying drive is innate means that you have nothing to do with it. You do, but after the kid makes the decision, not before. But you also provide accountability - so they think carefully about what they want. The kid decides and then you support and hold them to it for at least a few months.
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