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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had one of each. As others have noted, the difference in the way people treat you depending on if they know you as the parent of a "good" kid or a "bad" kid is stark.

I agree to some extent that difficult kids can be that way in part because they have traits that are generally not welcome in children but can be desirable in adults--strong-willed, independent-minded, etc. This was true of my difficult kid. He was also impervious to peer pressure in a way that my easier kid was not.

I do believe it is largely nature. My difficult kid was much worse than I was as a kid, but we are very similar in some ways. (He's like me turned to 11 if you will.) I think we were good parents to him, but it was really hard for both DH and me much of the time. The teen years were actually the easiest with him.

My easy kid was a peach from the day he was born. He's more like my husband in personality. I'm glad they had a pretty big age gap, so they weren't aware of being the "good" one and the "bad" one.

Both kids are adults now and have turned out great, although my difficult one has struggled with anxiety and depression at times. (Like me.)[/quote]

I should say: they weren't quite as aware of being the good kid and the bad kid. My difficult kid was older and so able to observe how things were different for his brother, especially once DS2 started school. And DS2 also saw/experiencedhow difficult DS1 could be. But because they were 5.5 years apart, I don’t think they experienced the feeling of cconstantly being compared, especially by outsiders. [/quote]

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