Reply to Making Mom Friends--should I feel bad?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We just moved to a new city mid-year (last month) where my son started 4th grade at a private school. He has adjusted well and made friends. I left my own close-knit group of girlfriends who I met up with usually a few times/week, but have been excited to meet people in my new city.

I decided to jump in with both feet, hoping to get to know the school better and meet other parents, by chaperoning the first field trip of the year. I met a few other moms during the full-day excursion and they were very friendly and open. We had some nice conversations, and I was quite excited by how welcoming they were. The day after the field trip, I messaged two of the moms (separately) that I thought I had clicked with, saying that I enjoyed meeting them and would love to meet up for coffee. They never responded--didn't even acknowledge that they received my WHatsapp message. They have been active on the classroom WhatsApp groups, so I know they are online and receiving messages. Furthermore, I saw them at pick-up times, and they looked right through me as if they didn't recognize me (after having spent the whole day with me and sharing a lot about their lives/children) until I literally was directly in front of them and smiled/said hello. Maybe I'm feeling extra sensitive b/c I miss my friends/family back home and it's been a long time since I've been the "outsider" but I'm feeling rejected. What do you all think? Should I take the hint that they don't want to get to know me and move on, or do you think I should try again?  Do people usually respond right away if they want to be friends? I feel like I'm dating :)[/quote]

Are you not White? Are you an immigrant? [/quote]

What a strange take on her post.  How in the world would this be about race?  Most of us (by that I mean people living in a city) have friends from all races and backgrounds.  Even "white" American non-immigrant families have immigrant families, very few people are purely native American, like almost no one.[/quote]

I don’t think that’s a strange take at all. I present as Asian in appearance and get snubbed or sidelined all the time while white moms and dads talk to each other. The mom with italian parents or big Greek family do not really have issues being identified as “immigrants” or “other.” Similarly, the Indian woman with white lady blow out bob hairstyle married to a white guy also seems to get along ok with the white majority, though more on the margins that the white parents. Meanwhile the true immigrant families want nothing to do with us because our kids aren’t of the old culture enough and have a more American attitude, and we are not culturally old country enough to have comfortable friendships. It’s a reality for many of us. [/quote]

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