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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
At one point you'll tell them both to their face that since your mother still spends the bulk of her time with your sister, she will also be looked after by said sister in her old age.

And follow through. 
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This is what my mother did - but never said in so many words. She was the last of 7 kids, and her mother slapped her around when she was little, and told her she never wanted her, she wanted a son. She was pretty badly neglected. My Grandma was on better terms with some of her other daughters, and when she needed help in her old age, they came to her rescue. My mother always made excuses not to pitch in. She had my father's and my full support, of course. She was never able to say out loud to her family why she didn't help out, but I think they understood. Essentially, you reap what you sow.

Your mother appears to be a loving parent, unlike my Grandma, but still. Relationships are two-way streets. If she has no interest in spending time with you, you shouldn't bend over backwards if ever she needs you, OP. Just do what you can without over-extending yourself and let your sister bear the brunt of it.

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