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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Anyone's kid pick their own nickname at school?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You let kids be called by what they want to be called. It's respect. I don't think nicknames are necessarily because they think their name is too ethnic. Usually they're just short names that their friends can shout easily on the playground. What's the nickname for Aksel in your home country? Can you offer that up? Nicknames aren't an English thing, nearly every language has them.[/quote] NP. PP is not understanding the cultural dynamic at play here. Wanting a nickname? Sure. Because your “ethnic” name is weird to your white/american peers. Not okay. I am sure he is being teased for it at school. Your experience is not uncommon. Here’s what I suggest, OP: 1. Contact teacher to express concerns and ask what they have seen in the classroom. If their answer is nothing, then ask them to keep a look out and intervene and report back to you. If it continues, then escalate to Principal. There may also be a Director of Diversity that you can contact. Sometimes it’s outright bullying, other times it is just ignorance and curiosity but it can still hurt if such exchanges are not supervised & guided by a knowledgeable adult. Especially at this young age. 2. At the same time, talk to your son. Be curious and ask questions to understand his thinking and where this is coming from (e.g. class bullying or other). No judgments or opinions from you at this stage. Just curiosity and a safe space for your son to share with you. 3. After this point, then you can begin sharing your thoughts & taking action steps. You might say that choosing a nickname is certainly fine but he should also be proud of his name. Show him famous people with the same name and also other “ethnic” names - scientists, athletes, celebrities. Share stories about other famous people who had ethnically different names and their experience overcoming those challenges while being proud of who they are and where they come from. Then give him the choice. (And it’s okay if he still wants the nickname but do keep the conversation ongoing to continue to build confidence.) 4.Give him the right language. Not “weird”. “Representative of my heritage.”; “It seems weird to you because you don’t know about x country.”; “I love my name. It’s not boring or common.” Language gives him the tools to process and articulate the nuance, and to speak up for himself. 5. Of course your discussion is geared to what it developmentally appropriate. I think you said 2nd grade. Some children’s books to explore with your son: My Name (Kelkar); What If We Were All The Same!: A Children's Rhyming Book About Diversity (Harris); We’re Different, We’re The Same (Mathieu); The Day You Begin (López). I hope this helps! [/quote]
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