Reply to What (free) incentives do your kids like?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Think through how this is going to work with two kids. If one has a hard week, are you going to exclude him from family game night/fancy dinner/whatever? "Sorry Timmy, you can't play with us because you misbehaved on Wednesday" would not be received well by most people. Or will you tell the kid who was successful, sorry we can't play a game because Timmy misbehaved yesterday?[/quote]
Whoever had the best behavior gets to go first?[/quote]

That might be ok if each kid has the "best" behavior roughly half the time, but if one child has more difficulty and never goes first, the message they are getting is, I'll never be as good as my sibling, so I might as well stop trying.

When my kids were OP's child's age, we tried a marble jar, where they earned marbles when they did something good and then earned a prize when the jar was full. One of my kids consistently filled his jar faster and more easily than my other kid, which led to more meltdowns and dysregulation, which was exactly what I was trying to avoid. We later switched to Ross Greene's collaborative problem solving, which doesn't rely on incentives, and it works much better.[/quote]
Lower the bar for the more challenging kid? [/quote]

As the less challenging kid, I can say I resented this.[/quote]

+10000000000000000000000000000[/quote]

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