Reply to Dropping the rope with MIL

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Dropping the rope with MIL "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I think this sounds like a situation where there is a fairly reasonable happy ground between never communicating with the woman again or being a doormat.

First, stop engaging in the family chat and being the sender of all the pics. Let your husband chime in and you can just mute the chat. Let your husband know that he should relay anything important to you because you are not reading the chat these days.

Second, tell your husband to stop relaying any of his mom’s criticisms to you. Remind him that it isn’t helpful or kind for him to pass this along. If he is sad not to have someone to vent to about his mom, then he needs to get a therapist who might help him see how to set better boundaries himself.

Let go of being annoyed by a grandma that wants to gush to their grandkids. Telling a baby “I love you the most” isn’t actually harming anyone. You can pivot to a stronger view on this if you need to in a few years. But this really, really doesn’t matter when they are super young.

In general, one of the best things I ever did was simply not own the relationship with my in-laws. My husband navigates with them and makes sure we see them plenty. I’m happy to host as far as cooking, but I’m not engaging in the family chat and “who is coming and what and when” nonsense. He buys their gifts, calls them, etc. He is great at it.

In fact, my MIL stayed with us on Xmas eve and is back staying with us for two nights starting tonight. I had nothing to do with coordinating it. I just smile and welcome her in and we talk about shows we watch on PBS.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics