Reply to Is it too late for me to ever feel taken care of?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mother sounds like you, OP.  Never cared for by her parents and expected to be self-sufficient at a young age. She married my father for his stability and competence but he would probably have been diagnosed with Aspergers if there had been such a thing when he was growing up. It all came to a head in midlife and she clung onto us, her four children, to give her the love and caretaking she never got from the other adults in her life. It was unhealthy and you should look up family or mother enmeshment for information. More therapy and making connections with other adults your age are the best options since you don’t want to divorce your husband. [/quote]

OP here. I am very familiar with enmeshment and the problems that arise from parents becoming emotionally dependent on their kids. This is the story of my childhood.

I do not think my husband is on the spectrum. He's just the silent type. He has many good qualities and is a good father and we have a good relationship. But he does not fill this particular need, which I think not everyone has because not everyone has the same history of abuse/neglect that I do. I have no interest in divorcing him -- creating a stable, functional family is the greatest accomplishment of my life.[/quote]

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