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Reply to "How to cope when your entire family has ADHD "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a high-performing, unmedicated ADHD woman, I can tell you that I was attracted to DH in part because of his meticulous spreadsheets, color-coded closet, and planning skills. He's probably borderline OCD in the same ways. How self-aware is your spouse? I have learned to live with checklists I am a minimalist, so everything has a spot. I have air tags on most things. I get help with calendaring things at work. I don't hire anyone with ADHD themselves, certainly not my nanny. Mine has very strong executive functioning skills. One kid is doing fine with medication and sports. The other one is closer to your kids' ages and may not need medication. That one also gets lots of sports, and I teach reading and math at home as I don't think much of what is taught as school sinks in. [/quote] This is very helpful thank you. DH is very, very functioning which is part of why he is untreated. He thinks medication would alter his abilities. I'm not necessarily pushing for medication, just therapy or coaching to help him support me at home. Stuff like losing things constantly, forgetting minutia about the kids/house etc. We didn't know our nanny had ADHD when we hired her, about four months in when we tried to talk with her about her performance she let us know she is ADHD/ASD and partially deaf. She is bonded to our kids though and we had just had a baby so we decided to stick with it and it's been about 18 months. We've mutually decided she needs a better fit and will be leaving after the summer. [/quote] Well he's not "very, very functioning" if he's losing things constantly. Why do you say "support me at home"? Are you a SAHM or work part-time? If you work full-time, he needs to be pulling his weight as a parent not just "helping" you. I think a big part of this process is you opening your eyes to exactly how impaired your DH and nanny are.[/quote] He's very high functioning at work, this is why he's been able to skate by, especially we me picking up the slack. Yes I work full time. Pulling his weight is exactly what I am asking for help with here. How do I get him to do that? Do you have a spouse with adhd and have tips?[/quote] Him being able to function highly at work but not at home is not adhd. Op is a fool. [/quote] You obviously know nothing about ADHD and have no experience with it. Not sure you should be the one calling anyone a fool. https://add.org/high-functioning-adhd/#:~:text=Many%20ADHDers%20are%20high%20achievers,their%20(often%20undiagnosed)%20ADHD.[/quote] DP. We all know it is over-diagnosed and it’s very questionable that the op has that many diagnosed people around her. Her husband ability to function at work but not at home is certainly deliberate. [/quote] ADHD is genetic. Do you think it's a coincidence that four blood relatives share a diagnosis? [/quote]
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