Reply to "Women judge other women when they are feeling either jealous or smug."

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Reply to ""Women judge other women when they are feeling either jealous or smug.""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Backstory: visiting my mom this week with my kids (DH is working). My aunt is also in town. One of my kids was playing with my wedding/engagement ring. My engagement ring is extremely simple with a tiny stone, wedding ring is just a band. They are very pretty (have this filigreed design I love) but they were also inexpensive. We had absolutely no money when we got married, and I wasn't a big jewelry person anyway.

My aunt asked in a polite way if I ever thought about getting a larger diamond now that we can more easily afford it, especially with lab diamonds now available. I hadn't really thought about it -- my rings are sentimental to me and I think I'm so used to having a small stone that it might feel weird to have a bigger one. My aunt said, "Do you feel like other women judge you for having a smaller stone? That was a thing when I was younger."

And before I could answer, my mom said, "Oh who cares? Women only judge other women when they're feeling jealous or smug, why cater to that."

So I've been thinking about that ever since. [b]Do you think that's true, that women only judge each other when they are feeling jealous or smug? [/b]I feel like I could come up with exceptions if I tried but I also think the underlying sentiment is true in a useful way. It also, of course, made me think of DCUM.

So, DCUM, what do you think? Would especially be interested in hearing people assess if it's true when they, themselves, judge other women. I do think it's often true for me, I'm ashamed to admit.[/quote]

Of course not. Your mom was trying to be kind to you.

Women, and people in general, will be judgy about absolutely anything. Some people like to believe it’s jealousy, and sometimes that may be true, but usually people are just saying “I would never do that, it’s beneath me”.

I think there’s also judgment that stems from insecurity, but again not in most cases. You have the people here on DCUM saying “this is why I kept my name/took his name, stayed home/kept working, had an engagement ring or didn’t” and people get really defensive about those different choices. Where if you were talking to this person at school pick-up they could be one of your best friends, despite the different choices.[/quote]

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