Reply to School Has Broken His Spirit and Crushed His Soul, what to do now?

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Reply to "School Has Broken His Spirit and Crushed His Soul, what to do now?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What are his interests?

What do you think he'd like to do with his days if school didn't exist?

My suggestion: Lean into those answers, whatever they are. Find what lights up your kid and do more of it. Don't be afraid to remove him from the system. Lots of well-meaning individuals work very hard -- in ways that don't serve our children, unfortunately.

It sounds like you know, deep down, that school is causing him harm. I'm so very sorry this is true -- it was true for us, too. It is ok, therefore, to withdraw him -- even if you don't know what's next.

Let him breathe.

He's not learning anyway.

Let him heal.

You can "homeschool" for quite a while without doing much of anything before the county gives you a hard time. (ask me how I know lol.)

Trust your instincts: He *will* learn, and he will THRIVE -- and part of that will be because his parent wasn't too afraid to protect him when he needed protecting.

It gets better. It WILL get better.

He is wonderful just as he is. 
[/quote]

OP here, thank you for this. It may come to this and I truly hope I am that brave parent you are describing![/quote]

You are. That's why you posted here :)

Your answer is in your question: There are so many ways you could have written your post, but you led with "School Has Broken His Spirit and Crushed His Soul."

And we can't have that, can we?

I think that the other crucial bit is for this to be a conversation with your child.

Most crucially, he needs seen and heard and acknowledged. Be real with him. If he seems to be in pain, tell him that you see that. Tell him you are here to protect and guide him, and that you don't know exactly what that's gonna look like at the moment, but you will find a path together. A lot of good is in store for him -- and you're here to help.

Beyond that, invite him into the process of "what next." It could be at the level of fantasy, if he's freer to hope and dream outside of the "real world": What does he wish for himself? If he could wave a magic wand, what would his days be like? What would he see, where would he go, what would he learn to do? 
         
In the meantime, something that has helped me and my kids: When the going gets tough, focus on "the next necessary thing." Sometimes it might mean taking a breath, sometimes it's taking your chromebook and charging it, sometimes it's answering the next question. Sometimes that means getting a drink of water, or if you've been crying, grabbing some tissues.

Often it's tissues :)

Hang in there. And remember:

You, too, are wonderful just as you are :)

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