Reply to How should I advise DD on these “mean girl” friendships?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hugs to you, mama OP.
This sucks.
(And it also sucks to be mama of girl A bc   she probably notices too and doesn’t know quite what to do to caution her DD not to hitch her wagon to girls who might steer her DD down this mean girl path.)

TBH I would tell her that you are proud of who she is and that she knows her value and worth without the need to change herself and act in a way that goes against her convictions.
In other words, she’s authentically kind and compassionate to others—even when they don’t behave in a way that would seem to justify her having a different attitude toward them.
And you can agree that these girls may or may not “come around” to being decent again. But I’d also caution her that leaving the door open for that possibility doesn’t mean accepting that their current treatment of her has been or is okay. It just means that she’s being the bigger person to allow them to grow to regret their actions and change course.
Emphasize that we can’t control what other do. We can only control how we respond. And she’s doing great!
[/quote]

+1. The mean girl crap is essentially about and knowing and being with people who want you around, OP.  Your daughter is doing great. If she is happy and with supportive people who raise her up, that is a lesson all its own.  Well done! [/quote]

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