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[quote=Anonymous]My wife and I have two donor conceived sons. As the non-bio parent, those comments start to hurt after a while, especially when coming from your MIL (ie, the person who is biologically related to my kids when I’m not).

Those kids of comments peaked when my kids were little. At some level, I get it. Babies don’t have a lot of personality or individualization when they’re little so people latch on to physical features to create a perceived connection to themselves.

However, my wife was great about putting a stop to these kids of comments. We both had to specifically tell our own parents that these comments were painful and they needed to stop. And if they didn’t, my wife would respond with something like, “in our family, we don’t focus on biology or appearances. Baby Boy is special and his own unique person”.

I know we sounded a little crazy but it really helped me to not feel resentful. As the kids have gotten older and have developed their own personalities, those comments have mostly stopped (kids are now 10 and 7). I have my own solid  bonds with the kids now too, so I mind less. I’ll always appreciate how my wife set the tone in the beginning though. [/quote]

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