Reply to First grade bullying - what would you do next

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[quote=Anonymous]Op here. I don’t know why I didn’t just say her favorite animal - a panda. But yes, the stuffed animal they picked out of the basket was a panda (so not some random puppy dog or something). Actually the teacher seemed confused and didn’t think they had a panda but my daughter definitely read it as a panda (it’s one of those stuffed animals with the really big eyes where it’s hard to tell what it is).

DH and I met with the teacher again on Friday. She said she’s made a point in the weeks since she heard the story to go outside during a few recesses a week and watch my daughter and the other girls. My daughter generally chooses to play alone. There is a lovely little girl who’s new this year (also getting bullied) and the teacher encourages my daughter and that girl to play together. They really like each other when we’ve done play dates and I like the mom a lot but for some reason they’re not connecting at school.

The teacher was upset to hear that one of the people (let’s call her Bully) kicked my daughter again. I said I thought it was time to loop in / inform the principal and the teacher agreed. I said I was going to request that Bully be in a separate classroom than my daughter next year and the teacher said she’d already made a note of that and it’s a “no brainer”. I also asked whether the school counselor offers socialization groups and whether they would benefit either Bully or daughter (in terms of setting boundaries, healthy friendships etc). For instance, the girl in the group who was my daughter’s good friend has, on one hand, asked to be in her group on both their field trips and sat with her at two recent school events that I attended. On the other hand, my DD recently gave that girl a toy for her bday. I said that was nice, but we should have discussed it before she took a toy to school. A few days later my DD said that girl told her “other people gave me toys, and I won’t be your friend unless you bring me a toy too.” So that’s a problem obviously.

Anyway, the teacher told me she’s sending Bully to “restorative recess” with the principal once a week where they role-play and try to resolve social challenges. She said we could try having my DD go on weeks that Bully isn’t there. At the very least, it could get her into a calmer recess situation.

So in my draft to the principal I’ve requested a classroom change for next year, let her know that some sort of counseling for multiple girls in the classroom seems like a good idea, and asked what kind of supports / resources might be possible to better keep recess and transitions to the classroom safe. [/quote]

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