Reply to How to ensure my kids inherit my money if my husband remarried and died?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Set up a trust. Designate kids as beneficiaries. Talk to your lawyer.[/quote]

I would be super pissed of DH did this and died and left me with 1/2 what we had before. [/quote]

Why?! [/quote]

I don't think anybody philosophically has a problem with what OP is trying to achieve, but I can see a lot of pissed-off spouses based on the way one of the spouses achieves this.

I think everyone is trying to achieve some structure such that the surviving spouse is able to fully utilize 100% of the estate...I mean, it is quite possible they never marry again, so now you just restricted a ton of $$$s that in theory you collectively accumulated...but provides some $$$s protection for the kids if you remarry.

Maybe I am crazy...but if I were to remarry, it is likely someone with similar age and finances.  I[b] just don't see a "gold digger" situation as being the norm.
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DP:
It's not necessarily a gold-digger situation--but IME a lot of older guys remarry someone slightly younger if their wife dies first and they often leave the money to the new wife who then leaves it to her kids.  The older guy is just statistically likelier to die before the new wife both by gender and age and he's just mentally more oriented to caring for her than his adult children at that point. But his late first wife probably would have preferred her portion of the money go to her kids.  Most of the women I know whose spouses died, either don't remarry or still leave the money from their first marriage to their kids rather than their new spouse.  Maybe this will shift  as people who grew up under different gender dynamics age, but as a woman who has earned half the money in my marriage, I want to make sure my spouse is well-taken care of AND that my kids get their share too if I were to die first.[/quote]

So, what is your solution?[/quote]

I don't have one yet! I'm working on it! I have term life insurance right now where DH is 50% beneficiary and each of our kids are 25% each (one is over 18, the other soon will be).  So that's something at least.  I have some brokerage accounts that have been funded by my spending money over the years that have the kids as beneficiaries only (DH and I do a budget where each of us have a portion of money to do with what we wish. DH is more likely to spend his, I'm a born saver/investor).  But this still leaves the bulk of our assets set up where the money goes to the other spouse when the first one dies and then the kids as contingent beneficiaries.   But once our kids are both of age, I think we'll either work on setting up a trust--or assess our situation and have each of us designate a certain portion of our retirement assets /shared brokerage accounts that would go directly to the kids when one of us passes.  Maybe 70% to the spouse and 15% to each kid?  We do have plenty of assets for retirement.  I think if we both discuss this and decide on an appropriate balance, .  We've also started shifting the assets a bit to the kids, such as  funding our kid's Roth IRAs, and we'll likely help with down payments/grandchildren's college when the time comes.[/quote]

It's easy to create legal structures as long as the surviving spouse accepts they won't get access to 100% of the estate.  Again, the tough nut to crack is how the surviving spouse gets access to 100% if they remain unmarried...but somehow it then gets restricted upon remarriage.
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