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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am not sure whether having a lower threshold for dangerous play means you allow more or less?[/quote]

I allow more dangerous play than other parents.[/quote]

Buttt why [/quote]

Because i think its good for them to learn to manage risk at a younger age to be safer when they are older.[/quote]

I'm someone who allows a fair amount of risk.  But freedom to play, and experiences with things like woodworking tools and stoves and knives in the kitchen.

But, I also think there's value in learning to manage social situations from a younger age, and allowing your kids to show off behaviors that their friends aren't allowed to do is teaching them to be obnoxious.  Find other opportunities for risks, and set limits in the situations you describe where other parents are saying no.

For the situations in your own home, when the other parents aren't there, it's harder because you might allow something, that you don't know the other parent wouldn't allow.[/quote]

In those situations, I do tell my kids to stop what they're doing, that they're being bad influences.  But one of my kids is a bit oppositional and defiant, so doesn't listen.  And in a situation like that, where we have always allowed them to do the said thing (like climb high up a tree), I can't seem to convince them why they should come down.  And if I bring up the other kids, it just seems to make them resent their presence more because it limits them from doing their normal thing.[/quote]

Wow, OK so that's a whole different problem.  What consequences do you have for that kind of defiance?  [/quote]

She doesn't have any. Her kids are brats and she is lazy.

Reread her first post. None of those behaviors are egregious. Most parents are Ok with those things.

Now read her second post.

She lets them do whatever no guidance at all. Which is different from just letting them be Kids.

Nope she has no rules. That is why kids are getting hurt.

It is fine to. teach your kids to think for themselves absolutely that is not what is happening here.

My guess is if her kid wanted to jump off the roof of her house she'd be fine with it.

[/quote]

See this is why I have issues.  PP hears what I let them do, thinks I'm a lazy parent who lets them do whatever the heck they want to do and have zero rules.  And that I'm at fault for the kids getting hurt, and that I'd be fine with the kids jumping off the roof.

I think what I allow is perfectly reasonable for our kids. But then when other kids come over or when we have a playdate, I start being the helicopter mom because there are parents like above.  [/quote].

NP. But it sort of sounds like you have no choice but to let your kids do whatever they want to because they don’t listen to you at all. So it’s not that it’s safer for them than others, it’s that you can’t stop them anyway and that becomes embarrassing and problematic in front of friends/their parents. No? [/quote]

I don't think op is the poster who said they can't tell their kid no. That was a different person. [/quote]

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