Reply to Husband decided to keep kids home today without talking to me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I suspect many years of not seeing eye-to-eye are playing into your husband's and your tendencies to poor communication and poor conflict management.

He is correct in the childcare decision (icy roads, younger kid has a cold, parental care at home may be better than daycare). He should have looped you into the decision-making but clearly knows you wouldn't have agreed and it would have led to an argument. He can't win, because you're going to argue regardless and accuse him of being controlling and abusive.

You're coming across as the gaslighting one, in the way you dismiss his opinions, his decision-making and accuse him of behaviors that really aren't obvious in the situation you describe.

Maybe the reality is different and you left out a lot of relevant information, but as it stands right now, my sympathies are with your husband.

[/quote]

This. Your husband’s response to get angry and stomp around isn’t okay. But you aren’t listening to him and expressing empathy for his experience.

I would totally keep the kids home on a snow day is my work schedule allowed. And it wouldn’t cross my mind to discuss with my husband first. But we have a shared history of being respectful of each other’s time and being able to effectively communicate about these issues.

This is much bigger than a snow day for you. You aren’t allowing him to have opinions about something important to him. [/quote]

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