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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 20yr son had some severe mental issues as a kid and teen which he’s now got a good handle on. He didn’t want to go college and is working almost FT, has a couple friends, lives at home and pays us $300 month for rent. We’re saving that $$ for when he decides to move out. We plan to increase his rent to eventually get him to $1000, which is what he’ll need to live on his own.

He’s easy to live with and I figure in 3 years he’ll be ready to move out. My husband makes snide remarks that our son is “living in our basement.” DH is old school, moved out at 18. (Didn’t go college but landed very good job.)

I keep telling DH that times have changed and that lots of young adults live with parents through early twenties.

In white upper-middle income families, what would “normal” look like?[/quote]

Who cares? You do what works for you?
I grew up with immigrant grandparents on both side. They and their siblings all went on to have big families of their own. They all lived at home for periods of time and some lived there, taking care of the grandparents, their whole lives. One side basically had a "compound" where they all lived next to/behind each other. Everyone took care of each other (though it was not w/o the usual family bickering and issues - not trying to paint some Pollyanna view). Point is, no one looked down on it. I certainly never knew any differently. It was only until I started living in other areas where "Failure to launch" concerns were apparently a thing that I realized others looked down on it.

You know what? I DGAF. I have zero family support where I am now and it's easier with some help. So if my kids want to live at home, need help and support, and are doing their best, that is absolutely fine with me. Plus, as others note, it IS harder now for kids coming into being adults. Harder to get in college, pay for college, get a good paying job, buying a house . . . . So the old "rules" simply don't apply in the same way. [/quote]

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