Reply to Bored in marriage. Need advice?

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[quote=Anonymous]I really think that it may be a good idea for you to wait to make any sort of decision.  I don't think this is a decision that you want to make while your husband is in a war zone (right?)  I don't think it's a clear headed decision for a few reasons:

- If you decide that you're going to leave, even if you wait until he's back, this decision will surely have you feeling guilt, and he will feel blind sided if he's home for an hour and you are packing your things..

- It may be possible, that when he comes home, and you're there picking him up from the airport, that the butterflies and feelings of "in love" may just take over, at least for a little while, and after your separation, if this happens, you both should enjoy it.

- You had talked about how you dislike the military lifestyle.. How far away is his ETS or re-up date?  If you discuss this, perhaps he would be willing to ETS and not make this a career.. You haven't really said much about this so I don't know if this is something that would help.

- My husband and I are very different in respect to a lot of the things that you've mentioned, it's taken a lot of compromise, but we have found middle ground.  We take part in and usually end up enjoying each others hobbies (I am strongly considering getting myself a motorcycle and LOVE fishing now.. and he has taken me to the theatre and concerts, and usually talks about how they were a good time).  I think that if you try hard, a good, and enjoyable middle ground can be found.. my husband and I were similar financially to you guys also, one of us spends, one of us saves, we give an allowance at pay day for spending money and we save some.

Let me close by saying, that there was a time when I could have written this exact post, almost word for word, it's uncanny actually how similar my situation was to what you're dealing with right now, from the fact that we married at 19 to military and separations etc..  But we've now been married for seven years and we are so happy and doing wonderful.  I'm not saying this is your outcome, but more, I think proof that sometimes, love can be enough... Enough to get you started at least.  [/quote]

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