Reply to Nephew with celiac - what is fair/appropriate when visiting grandma?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You sound like my SIL, OP. My children have multiple allergies, including gluten and dairy. My SIL showed up at every single family gathering with a food that my child could not eat. She'd always say, "Oh, Larla can't eat the BUTTER on the green beans?" Everyone else respected my DC's allergies and brought food she could eat. But my SIL always wanted her kids "favorites."

My child could die if she eats certain foods. Everyone in the family understands and respects this, except for SIL., who found it a total PITA to bring an allergen-free food to a family holiday celebration.

My entire family eats GF foods. There are lots that are fine. They are indistinguishable from wheat-based foods: breads, pasta, cookies, cakes, etc.

As a PP said, it's really difficult to feed a child with multiple allergies. Be grateful you only have to feed your children GF foods for a few days. You have it easy, OP. Gratitude is the key to happiness. [/quote]

Nope nope and nope.
It is YOUR responsibly to make sure your child doesn't eat the beans. It is on YOU to ask what ingredients are in the food, watch your child like a hawk, sit with her while he/she eats to make sure  he/she only eats the food on the plate, spend the whole party keeping a close watch and entertain the child away from the food. Yes, that's what YOU have to do.
It is not on your family or friends to remember what your child's allergies are and figure out what foods they can eat. That's 100% on you.

My only rule as an allergy parent is no food my child is allergic to in my own home. It's the one zone I can control, and I want to relax in my own house. There is no way I would expect an entire family gathering's food (or play date, or restaurant visit, or park day, birthday party) to only serve food my child can eat. You are completely wrong on this PP.[/quote]

Yes... it is 100% on her. But a gracious and loving family attempt to accommodate. It's not realistic to expect them to remain 100% gluten free. But a grandma making the main kitchen gluten free is not unreasonable. It's a very loving and caring thing to do. Also, providing the guest cabin to the people with a newborn makes complete sense.

In this situation, it is not reasonable to ask that OPs children not eat gluten at all. But PPs have provided many options for OP. Paper plates, gluten be kept in the room, etc, etc. Also, people are reminding OP that this is a 2 year old, and that this is family, and maybe she should get over herself for 2 seconds to realize that maybe it'll be nice to make this a little easier for her SIL, who is probably having one hell of a time right now. Sure, I don't expect strangers to care. But I would sure as hell want my family to. [/quote]

So OP is ungracious, unloving, selfish, and uncaring? Wow. [/quote]

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