Reply to Is "making dinner" part of your SAHM job description?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Think more broadly about the example you're setting for your child here. You're showing him that marriage isn't about working together, trying to be good to each other, etc., it's about staking out what you want to be responsible for and then refusing to go outside of it for the benefit of your marriage or your household. That's not really a recipe for a healthy relationship.[/quote]

I get what you are saying, but in fact I am not comfortable with a model for my son where he seems mom doing all of the cooking and cleaning from morning until night, and runs the household, and her job is 24/7 while dad is off the clock once he gets in the door. I do all the cleaning-I have a really nicely kept house. Our sink doesn't have dirty dishes in it, our counters aren't sticky, our floors are swept, we always have clean clothes, our bathroom towels are always fresh, our cars are tidy, DS's toys are nicely kept and rotated, our bills are paid and paperwork is in order, our taxes are filed, etc. Before we had a kid, DH would go out for a breakfast burrito on Saturday, while I spent an hour on cleaning.  I'm not resentful, I love having a nice guest-ready house, and so does DH. We often have guests over. But aside from cooking, I pretty much do everything, and I actually think DS should see dad doing some household stuff as well.  DH isn't a natural cleaner-upper, so I don't think he's going to all of a sudden pitch in more on that front. [/quote]

Then this is the issue - DH comes home and is "off the clock" and you aren't, right?  Does he sit down, put his feet up and do nothing else for the rest of the evening?  Here is how it should work, IMO:  Surely you can carve out an hour in the late afternoon to put together a meal for the family.  We have a one year old who doesn't eat much, but we sit down as a family and have dinner.  I think most people would agree that you, as opposed to your husband, is in a better position to carve time out of the day to do this.  Then, once DH gets home, you both are on the clock until things are done for the day.  My DH and I both work outside the home, but at the end of the day we naturally split up the following "duties" (for lack of a better word) until everything is done, then we get rest time: dinner prep (me cuz I'm home earlier), baths for kids, bedtime routine for kids, kitchen clean up, make lunches for the next day, general picking up.

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