Reply to If you aren't sexually attracted to your spouse

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "If you aren't sexually attracted to your spouse"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]When we do have sex, its fine, and sometimes very good. But I went from a very high libido, very sexual person to someone who could take it or leave it and has to work to get in the mood. this is a combination of things but mostly two reasons: 1) DH is very vanilla. I've tried over the years to get him to open up more, but he is not comfortable even with making any sounds during sex, so handcuffs, or any scenarios, or anything slighly risque is out. Whereas I used to really enjoy pretty intense, open, slightly freaky sex. 
2) although I sensed this when we got married, his vanilla side came with a healthy does of romance and passion, so that he would 'prime the pump' so to speak--send sexy messages, touch me frequently, make me feel desirable.  and 3) he rushes everything! all the time. just like he does with everything else, he is kind of careless, so I'm just getting turned on and he moves to the next thing and I am constantly feeling like I have to have an orgasm in 5 minutes. I have tried telling him to slow down, and it works for a few minutes, but he r ushes through, and it makes me feel like he is rushing through to give me an orgasm so he can have his, and its not sexy. Makes me feel like he doesn't enjoy foreplay with me, doesn't enjoy my body.

With the loss of both his enthusiasm and his willingness to take time--a by product of marriage and familiarity, I guess,--there's nothing really to 'grab' me. So, we yes have sex, but its always just this thing divorced from our workaday lives, like we get in bed and he rolls over and just starts to touch my breasts. and I use my imagination to get in the mood. I have tried to ask for more and different things, and have modeled by example, but nothing much changes. Its kind of sad, because I would love to have raunchy sex a couple times a week, not vanilla every other. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics