Reply to S/O Elder care for parents who didn't provide child care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here is an additional consideration (different poster).

One set of parents completely unhelpful, uninvolved (Set A).  Another set of parents providing lots of help- childcare, financial help, etc (Set B).  At the end of the day, Set A needs the help from you but the financial offerings of Set B are what make you capable of helping Set A.  Essentially, Set B will be providing for Set A with you as the intermediary.

Is it fair?  You married your spouse and chose to take on his family.  Your parents did not make that choice but do make the choice to help you and your spouse.[/quote]

You should start a thread on this. I am in the same position and Set A doesn't get that we are "so rich that we shouls help them" (this includes Set A's extended family who think we are stingy and selfish) only because Set B takes care of child care, 1 private school tuition and gave us a huge downpayment on a house so I could stay home (health issues involved before anyone jumps on me).[/quote]

This is kind of my position too because my parents have helped me a lot financially and they are the reason why I am in the position I'm in today.  They also helped with the wedding and with moving and household costs. My brother regularly babysits. DH's parents pled "poverty." DH's parents are looking to take advantage of my extended family's sacrifices. You are right to suggest that is another angle of unfairness.

One of you should start a thread.

-OP[/quote]

Well, yeah, but that means that you're willing to TAKE the help and money given you by family, but not willing to GIVE anything to other family. You are fine with benefittng from the sacrifices of others, but not okay with making sacrifices. Gotcha.[/quote]

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