Reply to Boy slapped my daughter's butt on the walk from school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Good parents do tell their children when their response is in appropriate to the situation. Crying in this situation is indeed an inappropriate response. You do need to teach your daughter how to be strong in the face of adversity.[/quote]

No, good parents do not tell their kids their feelings are inappropriate. Feelings are always appropriate. Expressing those feelings in safe ways that do not harm others is almost always appropriate. Expressing any feeling in any non-harmful way at one's own home with one's own family is always appropriate.

Really, you honestly think the appropriate response to someone who is upset about something is "that's not a big enough deal to be upset over" or if someone's crying the appropriate response is "that's not worth crying over"? I'm sorry you think that, and that you likely taught your kids that. That seems so harsh and probably pretty scary.

Everyone has the right to decide for themselves what to find upsetting, and if something is upsetting to someone than it iS a big deal to them and it is worth feeling how they feel FOR THEM. Everyone doesn't have to have the same threshold for emotional reactions to things. It really is ok for feelings to differ, to be messy, to sometimes be hurt and angry, to not always be 'put together' or 'a public face' or whatever.

Check out the validation thread, it's pretty powerful stuff to legitimize someone's feelings and teach them that they are valid and important even when they aren't being what society calls 'strong'.[/quote] The poster said the response was inappropriate.  He/she did not say the feeling was inappropriate, and yes, good parents do help their children learn what responses are appropriate and inappropriate. You were so intent on trying to make a point that you didn't actually bother to read what was written.[/quote]

I did read the response. Crying is hardly ever inappropriate, and certainly not at home with one's mother. Crying "over something" is never inappropriate, there just might be times or places where it's best to not.

How is being upset or crying ever just categorically an inappropriate response to anything? How is that possible?[/quote]

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