Reply to Don't Let a Guy Waste Your Most Eligible Years

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Reply to "Don't Let a Guy Waste Your Most Eligible Years"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This post reflects some fucked up notions about a woman's value. As if physical beauty is the beginning and end of what she has to offer. As if it's a good idea for her to "lock in" a life time with a guy who wouldn't want to be with her if she met him in her 30s. As if it's illegal for her to propose.

Date someone who is kind to you. If you love them, marry them. If they don't want to get married & you do, move on to someone else who is kind to you. Repeat as necessary. [/quote]

Totally agree. I can't imagine speaking OP's words of advice to my daughter. [/quote]

Both of you are kind of missing the point.

1) This is only advice for women who want to get married and have children and know that that is what they want
2) That second bit is basically exactly what OP said, just encouraged them do do that quickly and with focus because dicking around with guys until you're 35 will make that #1 goal much more difficult to execute

I probably wouldn't word it like OP but I would say to her. "You should spend your teens and early 20s really thinking about whether marriage and children is an important life goal for you. If it is, aggressively pursue marriage in your 20s. This doens't mean 'catching' a man, but it means dating with purpose and communicating your relationship desires early and clearly. This is important because while you can always pursue a career or an academic achievement, there is a real and physical limit on your ability to reproduce in a safe and healthy (and cheap, if you don't have infertility issues) way." I would also tell her not to move in with someone because that is just a delay tactic and adds another year (at least) to your timeline (I moved in with DH upon engagement).

What the people who are bent out of shape about this are missing is that if marriage and procreation ISN'T important to you? Disregard and do whatever you want. Although people are right about the pool of attractive candidates shrinking pretty dramatically around 35. All of this is about encouraging women to examine their goals for the future early, because unfortunately (and unfairly but hey that's biology), women are working on a clock. Once you know what you want, go for that. The reality is that if you want marriage and biological children, you need to get on that early.

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