Reply to "Perfect on paper husband," just not in love with him

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Reply to ""Perfect on paper husband," just not in love with him"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]O.p here again. I've been thinking about this more and my feeling of disconnection from him is not simply related to the sex, though that is the most glaringly obvious. The other thing about him is that he is not introspective. He's very much a "doer." If I want to vent to him about work or family or friends, he doesn't seem to get that I just want to pour my feelings out without him trying to "fix" it. He doesn't like to discuss his emotions or his opinions on social issues. He thinks it's boring navel gazing. He hates web sites like slate or salon or opinion pieces. He doesn't like to gossip (which, I know people usually don't admit to enjoying that but I do, especially after a party). He doesn't like to "speculate" which is what he calls my attempts to discuss what might happen to people we know, etc. He doesn't drink. He's not very complicated. He does his job, comes home and wants to eat dinner/futz about in the garden/play with the kids. And this is what makes him completely happy! I guarantee you if you asked him to rate our marriage 1-10 he'd say 8 +.[/quote]

You do realize that you married a man, right? Men don't like to gossip or speculate or, you know, pour their feelings out. Even my gay male friends. Some yes, most no.
He's already doing that at work you said - he's a doctor that listens? That's pretty good, he's probably tired out from that by the time he gets home. 
I've played sports with men (on mens teams - but I'm a gal) and I notice that they argue and have all sorts of emotions - stuff you never see in the day to day because they
are not comfortable expressing themselves for the most part. But talking about sports, arguing at sporting events (or the darned tv set). Sure. 
Anyway - I'm off track now - but men don't much usually like most  of those things you want him to like (are you sure you didn't really want to marry a woman? Because my women friends who
have married other women talk about, you know, liking these things in their partners) . If he's already tired from doing these things at work (talking) but he likes doing active things
can't you do something active? Take the kids to the park together? To the zoo? Play tennis together? Go for a walk somewhere nice (have a glass of wine? Why
doesn't he drink - do you know? That's rare... In fact -what is his history, can you explain?). 
Gotta go... [/quote]

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