Reply to I slept with another man and am consumed with guilt

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Telling is incredibly selfish. You're essentially buying your own clean conscience with your spouse's pain.  Why? [/quote]

Disagree.  Obviously opinion is divided here, but if I were her DH I would want to know, and expect to be told if our marriage was anything other than a convenience to her.  [/quote]
What makes you think it's a convenience?[/quote]

Because if she doesn't tell, it is clear she has prioritized her desire for security and stability over honesty and her DH's ability to walk his own path.  How is that anything other than using someone else for your own purposes?   It is distorting someone else's life to advance your own interests.

Realistically, I believe if she keeps her mouth shut, she gets away with it.   I would not want my DW to trick me into staying devoted based on a deception.  Of course,  l might forgive her too.  It's a difficult situation.  But, to me, if you truly cared about someone, you would not deny them a choice by depriving them of such important information.

Unlike many here, I don't condemn OP.  I could see making the same mistake.  No one is made of stone, and someone sufficiently attractive could prompt many of us to do the same.  Or so it seems to me.  But ultimately my empathy is with her DH.  [/quote]

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