Reply to Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?

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Reply to "Sister says 14yo nephew not coming to my wedding because of his sports tournament. Thoughts?"

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[quote=Anonymous]A PP here.  As I said before, my kids would choose to attend the wedding although everyone in my family would understand if they did not.  Got called a bad parent and everything....but ok.

My problem is that many of you are making this a "black or white" issue when, in fact, there is a lot of gray.  What many of you have done is minimize the kid's activity while trumpeting the imprtance of the wedding.  "He is just a freshman."  "If one tournament can make or break him, he is not that good." "There will be other tournaments." A HS kid (as opposed to a 7YO playing rec) has put in a lot of time and energy into the activity and has probably sacrificed a lot (inlcuding social time) to get to that point.  Whatever decision a family makes should at least acknowledege that.  It is the only fair thing to do. Let me say once again that my kids would attend the wedding.  But I would never tell them that an activity that they have committed significant time and energy is not important or is overrated.

As far as good/bad parenting, the one thing I try not to do with my teenagers is make decisions regarding them that they have to bear the brunt of alone.  So I would hope that all those great parents out there who would make the kids attend the wedding are also counseling them on how to deal with the coach and their teammates going forward and helping them work through any consequences.  Because, IMO, that is just as important a life lesson as the importance of family. [/quote]

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