Reply to When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage

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Reply to "When the kids go to college, I'm out of this loveless and affectionless marriage"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I know.  I just wanted to see him say his tip was to tell the selfish fat wife to stop focusing on the baby and pay more attention to him. Cuz he's dreamy.  [/quote]

Yes, I would tell the selfish fat wife to stop focusing 100% on the baby!
I would tell her that the reason she is so utterly exhausted is that a good portion of the stuff she does "for the baby" is really "for her" because the baby would be perfectly fine either way.
I'd tell her to STOP doing all that un-reasonable stuff, focus some on herself, and focus some on her husband.

Definitely not 100% on the baby. THAT IS SELFISH.

I would tell the husband to be certain he is doing is 50% share of all reasonable child care. Many men "think" they are, but are really not, so I'd ask him to see what his wife thinks about it.
Then I would ask him if he wants to keep a good relationship going with his wife, or if he is so completely overjoyed with "oooh it's a baby" that the married couple should not invest any effort with one another, instead they should both focus 100% on this baby, 24x7, and don't forget this means they won't be having any sex.

Assuming he was not on-board with the excessive SuperMom and SuperDad plan, then I'd tell him NOT to participate in un-reasonable child care, and to discourage his wife from doing un-reasonable child care, to point out when she is being "selfish" like that, and instead she should take some personal time and relax and/or go to the gym. I'd tell him to outsource every aspect of their home life possible, to ensure both parents are not getting tired out doing low value stuff like lawn care.  I'd tell him not to believe anybody who says the sexlife ends once a baby arrives, but that things are different and this may take a while to adjust. It shouldn't take years and he should remain patient but firm and his marriage depends on keeping that connection with wife even if her instincts cause her to ocacssionally drift into SuperMom mode, he should work to bring her back.

I'd tell him if, despite his best efforts and some failed counseling, she insists on playing the SuperMom role, this means she's chosen not to have a normal married relationship with her husband, instead she chooses to be selfish and put all her efforts "into the kids".  Then he needs to consider the other options to avoid a miserable celibate life, such as divorce or discrete affairs.
[/quote]

In the immortal words of Inigo Montoya: I don't think that word, "selfish", means what you think it means.[/quote]

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