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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t view my husband as a “ profound moral obligation”, that’s crazy. He can stay or he can go,  I will be fine. I will also help my children through the process if needed. Marriage is so outdated in my opinion. Just because we decide something at 27, doesn’t mean it needs to carry over until I’m 90 or die. I have a realistic view, most marriages don’t work or aren’t very happy. I love my husband and have never cheated and I don’t think he has but I’m not naive enough to believe it’s not a possibility and I will certainly make sure I will be fine in the event our marriage doesn’t last. [/quote]

You sound really grounded.

I bet your daughters are too![/quote]

I disagree.

The wife in the OP will be fine too. People who go through even worse will be fine too. It's silly  to downplay the devastation that one rightly feels from having to adjust to new challenges and hurdles because of a divorce because, " they will be fine" when the dust settles.

Pp is stupid/naive if she thinks that these teenagers' lives would not be more difficult if they have to deal with the insecurity of step siblings from their father ( which will probably be the case in the OP since he is marrying a much younger woman).

Which mother wants that for her children? Yes, they will adjust in the end, but there will be trauma. There will be most likely be lifelong tension around step children and insecurities surrounding those relationships.

If marriage is not important to you, don't make the commitment. Go ahead and have your kids outside of the institution. Don't bring up kids under its warm embrace and then snatch it someday because " they will be fine".

Ofcourse no one is saying stay at all cost. But downplaying the downsides of breaking up a marriage when children are involved is stupid and selfish. [/quote]

She is grounded i  reality because she knows this is possible (it always is). And [b]she has built a life that is not entirely dependent on another adult[/b] , whom she cannot control.

Very mature and wise. [/quote]

I think it's kind of sad to be married to someone you couldn't care less about. I'm not financially dependent on my husband, but I don't think we'd have a real marriage if we weren't emotionally vulnerable with each other. How do you even have friendships without being vulnerable? Of course that then gives them the power to hurt you, but that's where trust comes in. I'm not dependent on anyone else but I'd be crushed if my close friends or husband betrayed me.[/quote]

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