Reply to Is This the Norm? My Husband Says I’m Wrong

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Again, My husband wasn’t at a teen club; it was a 25+ venue, and he didn’t know my age. I never liked older men for financial reasons, I just liked three because they were older—that’s all. Also, I wasn’t a teenager when I was 18. While many 18 year olds who get pregnant by 40 year olds might be considered victims, that wasn’t the case for me. OP[/quote]

You sound like a petulant and defensive teenager writing this now. I’m sorry your husband won’t pay for your vacation[/quote]

How? My husband truly didn’t know my age, [b]he thought I was 24[/b]. I just wasn’t a teenager anyway when I was 18, I think I stopped being a teenager at 15. And I wasn’t a pregnant teen either. OP[/quote]

Do you really think that there is no difference physically, behaviorally and emotionally between an 18 year old and a 25 year old?  Even if he was 40 and you were 25, that is a huge age gap that usually indicates that there is a power differential in a relationship.  I know you think that you were mature for your age, but your desire to normalize what you and he did is clouding your judgement.  I'm not saying he is a criminal pedophile, but he is definitely a guy who enjoys and takes advantage of the power differential in your relationship, as you can see by his response to your valid concerns about having a vacation with his child with you.

Please get some individual therapy and explore why you like older men -- it's not just "because they're older".  There are some specific things in your family of origin and they way you grew up that made you seek out this unhealthy dynamic. [/quote]
Yes, there’s a difference between a 18 year old and 25 year old, but he truly didn’t know what my real age was. I don’t really care about the  power differential  in a relationship, because that does not apply to our marriage, and even if it did, it’s whatever because we’re still married and still love each other. And yes, I loved older men because they were older, and they had more confidence, that is not odd. OP[/quote]

You definitely do have a power differential! That is why he can go on vacation and you can't stop him, but he can stop you from going on vacation. See?

If he loved you he wouldn't be doing this to you. It sounds like he got you pregnant in his midlife crisis and does not actually want to be married to you anymore.[/quote]

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